I AM AN ART NERD!

Thanks to http://www.dragonsfoot.org/ for the Character Sheet.

On the Second Day - Part One

Busy St. was a bustling with some going, toing, and froing while Hustle Ave. was a hustling with Sad Sac a mugging this very helpful and gentle woman who had _____.

"Here's the deal grand granny, you mother of Gin & Pension, hand it over or else . . ." he slobbered. She saw him with moist eyes as he stood before her handcuffed and clad in bright, right orange, an orange a subtle shame of shady.

"Don't mind the new look, I hear it's all the rage in prison." and lamely raising his fist, with his other wrist in tow, Sad Sac threatened to hit her with all the might that one so hopefully hopeless could muster. Tsk, tsk, tsking, this little old lady gladly gave up and wished she could give this sweet child even more _____. Perhaps some hard candy?

"Beats hard TIME!" he said. The crinkled corner of her mouth crinkled a little more as her parting words of "Poor boy." sent a wave of desperation in the air. Sad Sac held onto the _____ and waited for the inevitable takedown which would never come.

OVER ELSEWHERE

Jack Aesthetic was piloting the Giant Condor-C back to New Popolisville and the Sister was saying, ". . . I understand Jack yet I think it was irresponsible of Reward to just leave in the middle of the Jamboree." Jack's mask, held tight against his head, had a sheen like copper and was the colour of a suave mauve. "Ward does as Ward shall do, Sissy. Perhaps he took his private plane and flew to his private sea? Perhaps he has a secret identity that none know of?" Jack saw an image of the old man, in his mind and now in the clouds, of Ward's alter ego, standing there in the heavens with a host of angles rising before Him. The plane punched a small hole through its cloudy right eye and the Sister said, "Would a simple telecall really kill him?" The clouds in front of the nun formed into a funeral with all who he has given to mourning the loss of one so generous. Count Accountant came into the cockpit and asked to speak to the Sister alone. When they were gone, Jack switched on the autopilot and then the autolisten.

"What is it, Count?" The Accountant recounted his figuring and numbering and the improper imbalance that had accrued over the course of the Super Jamboree. He was worried about any liability that might scare the shareholders, what with the expensive assets and the assistive expenses and Sir Reward not being able to explain the discrepancy on the account of his not being here. "By my fellow Sisters, how much are we out?" The number sounded far to high for the Sister. "How long can we keep quiet on this?" The number sound far to low for her.

NEW POPOLISVILLE

The AutoCOPS had been working all night and most of the morning. Detective Worth had been reading all night and most of the morning when the Corporal walked into his office. "We picked someone up. Care to join me in the interrogation room?" Worth looked up from his newly acquired book, discreetly yawned and placed Sherlock Holmes in one of the many pockets inside his plain, long and lucky coat. "How is it?" the Corporal inquired. Together they walked to the elevator while Worth gave his initial review. "It's strange. It feels like Popolisville more than a century ago but after checking the deposits in the DataBank, none of the names or places matched up. Same with the writer." The elevator hummed into quick action. "The main character is fascinating though, a detective, like me. This detective uses inductive reasoning and observation to solve his cases. Unlike me." There was a quiet ding as the elevator came to an abrupt stop and Worth extended his arm, "After you, my dear Watson."

The two of them were observing N-Former from behind the one-way mirror. "The AutoCOPS did not have a lot to go on. This was the best they could do with so little evidence." Corporal COPulent took off his gloves, which were woven with Artisilk and had a coppery tinge to them. Cracking his knuckles he said, "Shall we?"

Worth followed him in and had a seat in front of N-Former. "Hey, I dunno nothing 'cept something 'bout that thing, you know? No? I was nowhere near wherever you think I wasn't. That thing with a robot, sure there's chitter and me? I was hanging out by my ladder, as I always do, every night and none a you can say otherwise. No? You hear 'bout what happened to Sally Surefoot? Surefeet now. Was with all the third degree?"

The Corporal sighed, "Tell us about the robot."

"Plenty robots round these parts these days, nary a week goes by without some Robot Face try 'scaping from prison. No? Maybe it had some help from a certain warden but I don't know nothing 'bout nothing 'bout that!" Worth took his book out and asked, "Have you ever seen this before? Heard anything?"

"Smells old. No? You try the library?" The room became still. After a couple of moments Worth took the book back. "What does the N stand for anyway?"

"I ain't never gonna say. Can't make me. I got rights, lefts and maybe even something on your momma. No? Am I free to go?"

MOMENTS LATER

"What now?" wondered the Corporal.

Worth looked at his lucky watch. Everyone would be back tonight and so far they had nothing. "Go and retrace the robot's last couple of hours, maybe the AutoCOPS missed something. And interview everyone again in the League who never went to the Jamboree."

"What are you going to do?"

Detective Worth felt like Captain Hunch. "I guess I'll go to the library."

TO BE CONTINUED

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Imagine if I hadn't rejected colour.

Overheard in New Popolisville

Tinfoil Man: At the corner of here and where, we're hearing you loud and clear!

--Here St. & Where Blvd.

WORDwork: All you ever do is gibberishistic.
ARTwork: Sorry, I only speak Artian.

--Library

Midge: I thought you said Dimension Two?
2D: BIMENSION TWO! BIMENSION!

--The Multiversity

Pale Man: Quickly, I need an anecdote!
Dr. Aware: Don't you mean antidote?
Pale Man: I was poisoned by a clown.

--Major Hospital

WTF?!?: From the inside shall come the outside.

--All Small Mall

Old lady: Don't be a smartass.
Drunk Punk: But it's where I keep all my wit.

--703rd St.

The Manmad: You cannot rule a fooler!

--Courtly Estate

A Robot Face: I tried to tell the meat puppets that they were wrong and the MACHINES were right!

--The City Hall of Justice

Stranger: I'll pray for you.
Sad Sac: Pray for a better GOD.

--The Wordcage

City Girl: What do you do?
The Known: I'm a space explorer. Well, space and time explorer.

--X train

Favoured Nickname for the Cat

Poops-to-Poop!

My Little White Window

This is also what my Curriculum Vitae looks like.

The Ring of Colour

Colours age as much as we do. From a born _____ to a young _____ to a ripe old _____ until they end up a dead _____. (soft pale, the shade of an instant breath) They can bleed as well. (ivory pinched with a pallid rose) Some hunt, there, in the darkness while others play in the light. (the innocent ones have all but disappeared)

You're the colour of:

  • ale maroon
  • amber peach
  • bare marble
  • grain green
  • violent pink
  • marching red
  • yawning blue
  • stained cherry
  • lyrical mahogany
  • failed yellow
  • thrown gray
  • burnt white
  • creamy black
  • flared oak
  • olden silver
  • peppered gold
  • bloody nickel
  • pale copper
  • stranded orange
  • stripped purple
  • bruised cedar
  • speckled teal
  • blistered sea green
  • drawn birch
  • crude brown
  • quiet crimson
  • tepid chalk
  • brutal chartreuse
  • smothered violet
  • veiled olive
  • ordered rose
  • shy magenta
  • beaten sand
  • hungry ochre
  • guarded plum
  • mangled cyan
  • weeping khaki
  • tanked grape
  • serious hickory
  • melted ash
  • bottled cork
  • playful lead
  • pasty brass
  • sacred hazel
  • fallen almond
  • desperate chestnut
  • cool poplar
  • blasted cotton
  • bored pine
  • stripped fir
  • pickled yew
  • solid willow
  • blind maple
  • dead apple
  • fuzzy beech
  • dusted holly
  • hidden walnut
  • felt aspen
  • drained spruce
  • furry raisin
  • musky cypress
  • tragic fig
  • deep vanilla
  • drastic mint
  • bland diamond
  • doomed caramel
  • loving pear
  • fixed citrus
  • strangled cream
  • accurate grey
  • wired foxglove
  • viscous burgundy
  • flown mauve
  • molested brandy
  • crushed auburn
  • plain lemon
  • sordid mulberry
  • pitched banana
  • ruined juniper
  • executed apricot
  • branded chocolate
  • forgotten coffee
  • hairy cranberry
  • blunt melon
  • mad clear
  • sour grave
  • hollow charcoal
  • puerile lime
  • aged butterscotch

Drawing with Words

Now on Pay-Per-View

Encyclopedia Brown vs. Father Brown

I AM A DRAWRITER! I AM A WRITARTIST!


I AM A DRAWRITARTIST!

Our ART, who lord in heaven,
hollowed by the frame.

The Greater New Popolisville Area

The Universe City

  • Sir Professor Sure
  • The Creature Teacher
  • Cheat
  • The Ex-Pair Mentor
  • Ian Q. Eerie
  • The Campussy Cat
  • Magicalculator

with a special appearance by the Dropout.

Other Places of Interest

  • The Mini-School
  • All Small Mall
  • The Writer's Block
  • Major Hospital
  • City Hall of Justice
  • e-Den

with a very special appearance by the House on Infinite Lane.

Other People of Interest

  • Mayor O'Mortal
  • The Drawing Detective
  • 2D
  • The Lame Cripple
  • Plastic Smarmy Men
  • Calumny Jane
  • The Victim from Hickdom
  • Mr. Master
  • The Colour Candied Dandy
  • Section Hate
  • Hellody
  • The Boy from Security And Testing In Real Emergencies or S.A.T.I.R.E.

with special appearances by Solid-Dude and the CEO of OCD.

Untitled Jack Kirby Project

To: John
From: Cincinnati

Over there, in the water, the waves come on strong,
Liquid and sure they rolled here, bellies swelled and long,
Rising up still like Jesus, His name writ in song,
The sun is soon extinguished; pray that we are wrong.

RIP JFC

Welcome to timleeLAND!

What the ARTist knows so far about this League of Headquarters:

The Fortune 5

  • Sir Ward Reward
  • Corporal COPulent
  • Sister Mercy Mary
  • Detective Rich Worth
  • Count Accountant

with special appearances by the Secret Secretary and Fat Cat.

The Landlords

  • A Faceless Robot
  • The Custodian from the Bureau of Bureaucracy
  • Mr. Take and his Unmarried Sister
  • The Lord of Manners
  • Super Superintendent

The Super-Sensibles

  • Dr. Aware
  • The Astute Mute
  • Breakfast
  • The Son of Reason
  • Drunk Punk

The Beautiful Beasts

  • Jack Aesthetic
  • Peacock Girl
  • Brother Moose
  • The Flyin' Lion
  • Cooligan of the Hooligang
  • Super Seal Puppy

with a special appearance by the Bestial Battalion.

Agents of the Statement

  • Gramma Ana
  • WORDwork
  • Agents Zero & Hero
  • The Manmad
  • Massive Missive with his Hammer of Grammar
  • The Dotted Lie

The Power of Our Minute Friends

  • Atomanic
  • The Molecular Mole
  • Quark of the Covenant
  • Midge
  • The Simple Impletons

with special appearances by the Lone Wee and Little Riddle.

The Extra Men

  • The Male Man
  • Suzy Seashells and her Adoring Fans
  • The Surgin' Virgin
  • The Messy Sage with his Insane Cane
  • Private Pirate
  • SUPERKING!

Et Cetera Etc.

  • The Wrest
  • Captain Hunch

Team Loner

with a special appearance by the False Pariah.

Where do the villians live?

The Hideoutside

  • Princess Pool
  • The Wifebeater Gang
  • WTF?!?
  • Bipolar Bear
  • The Femaleficent Boy

with a special appearance by the ConsterNATION of SALAMI.

Dumpland

  • The Bionic Plague
  • Dumb Belle
  • The Dukes of Put'emup
  • Elmer Dud

with a special appearance by the Hybird.

The Backyard of Graves

  • Dr. Tombstone
  • The Graverobber Mugger
  • DeviLich and the Flesh-Eating Bombies
  • St. Undead
  • Buggery Boo
  • The Grim Creeper

That Alley in the Valley

  • N-Former
  • The Sewer Brewer
  • NumBum
  • The Stray Brat

The New Popolisville Prison

  • The Prisoner
  • Lax the Destroyer & Lawyer
  • The Defiled
  • A Robot Face
  • The Genital Eater
  • Harry Who Seenme
  • The Innocent Baby

with a special appearance by the Incompetent Warden.

The Snoozeum and Gall-ery

  • ARTwork
  • Ancient Mystery
  • Sir Real

with a rare appearance by a Rejectionist.

Solosers

with an appearance by Sad Sac.

From Plan Wee: Part One

From Plan Wee: Part Two

". . . and GOD said WRITE!"